Doctoral Defense blues

It is very much looming over my head, as it seems to be the most important event in my life. Is it? Is it really the most important event in my life? It sure seems to be trumping everything else - it feels like I have put so many things on hold to get ready for it.

Failure is certainly not an option, but it is also not likely.
From what I can tell, the final oral examination has 3 typical outcomes, although the scale is really continuous:

Grade A: pass with minor revisions
Grade B: pass pending major revisions, including extra analyses, etc.
Grade C: don't pass, after doing more work, need to re-defend.

My mom's friend's daugher got a C on her defense. She proposed to do A, B, and C, but the adviser said "You don't need to do A and B. just do C". The committee disagreed, so alas, she needs to catch up on parts A and B.

If I get a C, then this will cause major hassle, especially with my post-doc job! If I get B, I wonder if the professors will sign the paperwork I have to submit to NIH to officially become a post-doc. Unfortunately I can't devote the resources into doing new analyses, etc., unless I do this during work hours, which is not feasible. oy.

Right now I am trying to write 3 papers all at once, and i don't feel like I can keep all of them straight in my head.

Well, I have a week. As my mom said for my 2nd attempt at Comprehensive Exams, if you don't pass, it must mean it wasn't meant to be, so don't worry about it. Well, at this point, I'd rather than do that.

I hope I experience that joy after it is all over. It seems so distant and unreal, partly because my degree won't be conferred until December.



I guess I am sure I will do well, but getting there is still very painful!!! There is still so much to do.. At the same time, I can't complain, since I don't have family/kids/etc. obligations.